Be Your Own #SquadGoals

So it's the beginning of a new year in my life, which means it's time to reflect on my life up to this point.

(happy birthday to me!) 

This has been a year of transition for me, starting college and moving away from home, so there's definitely a lot to think about. 

But the one thing that is super prominent, is my friendships. I had a really rocky year with friends. I had a fight with one of my best friends before I left for college, I became close with some of the girls in my dorm who actually hate me, I gained over a hundred new sisters, and I've been separated from some of my best friends in the world.

It's been an experience, I can tell you that. I learned a lot about myself and my friends.

See, I've never been the type of person with a big group of friends that always hangs out and parties; in high school, I just didn't fit in and I accepted it and I was bullied out of my elementary school. I expected that in college I would have a huge group of friends and I'd love each and everyone of them and that they would all love me. 

I was completely wrong. 

I became friends with a bunch of superficial girls who wanted me to go along with whatever it was that they wanted to do. Frankly, I'm too independent for that. I won't give compliments if they aren't sincere and I won't do something I don't want to do. They weren't about that. They didn't invite me to go on the big spring break trip with them (lol bye). 

At first, I was really sad. I was convinced there was something completely wrong with me because I couldn't seem to ever have friends. Then I realized that I am a strong, independent, young woman and I have friends that love me for who I am. 

(This is where the squad goals part comes in)

I have great friends at college and I have great friends at home, but many of them are from different social circles. But that doesn't mean that I don't consider my friends to be on Taylor Swift's Bad Blood Squad Level. 

Each and everyone of my friends is someone I can trust. I know that I can go to them at any time and they'll be there to support me. I know that if I want to grab food they'll be down. I know that while they may mock me for my Starbucks order, they actually love me a latte. 

From impromptu coffee runs after class, Friday night Chipotle dates, running errands, trips to the beach, to late night drives around town, my friends from home have been there through it all, and I'm eternally grateful for their love and support, even if we fall out of communication sometimes. 

Surprisingly enough, I pretty much do the same things with my friends from college and I love them just the same. 

I don't have any desire to want someone else's group of friends. I don't need to covet what someone else has when I have such a golden group of friends. 

I wouldn't want to be weird with anyone else.