Be Your Own #SquadGoals

So it's the beginning of a new year in my life, which means it's time to reflect on my life up to this point.

(happy birthday to me!) 

This has been a year of transition for me, starting college and moving away from home, so there's definitely a lot to think about. 

But the one thing that is super prominent, is my friendships. I had a really rocky year with friends. I had a fight with one of my best friends before I left for college, I became close with some of the girls in my dorm who actually hate me, I gained over a hundred new sisters, and I've been separated from some of my best friends in the world.

It's been an experience, I can tell you that. I learned a lot about myself and my friends.

See, I've never been the type of person with a big group of friends that always hangs out and parties; in high school, I just didn't fit in and I accepted it and I was bullied out of my elementary school. I expected that in college I would have a huge group of friends and I'd love each and everyone of them and that they would all love me. 

I was completely wrong. 

I became friends with a bunch of superficial girls who wanted me to go along with whatever it was that they wanted to do. Frankly, I'm too independent for that. I won't give compliments if they aren't sincere and I won't do something I don't want to do. They weren't about that. They didn't invite me to go on the big spring break trip with them (lol bye). 

At first, I was really sad. I was convinced there was something completely wrong with me because I couldn't seem to ever have friends. Then I realized that I am a strong, independent, young woman and I have friends that love me for who I am. 

(This is where the squad goals part comes in)

I have great friends at college and I have great friends at home, but many of them are from different social circles. But that doesn't mean that I don't consider my friends to be on Taylor Swift's Bad Blood Squad Level. 

Each and everyone of my friends is someone I can trust. I know that I can go to them at any time and they'll be there to support me. I know that if I want to grab food they'll be down. I know that while they may mock me for my Starbucks order, they actually love me a latte. 

From impromptu coffee runs after class, Friday night Chipotle dates, running errands, trips to the beach, to late night drives around town, my friends from home have been there through it all, and I'm eternally grateful for their love and support, even if we fall out of communication sometimes. 

Surprisingly enough, I pretty much do the same things with my friends from college and I love them just the same. 

I don't have any desire to want someone else's group of friends. I don't need to covet what someone else has when I have such a golden group of friends. 

I wouldn't want to be weird with anyone else. 

I Don't Have a Guilty Pleasure and Neither Should You

So here's a cute pic of me on the Lawn with my copy of The Declaration of Independence and Other Great Documents of American Importance, 1775-1865. I'm obviously doing school work here, right?

Wrong. 

You see, I have a special fascination with the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, George Washington's Farewell Address, and the Gettysburg Address. 

Yeah, I know that's pretty nerdy. Like super nerdy. Like "maybe you shouldn't tell anyone about that, Elle, people will think you're weird" nerdy. 

But the thing is, I don't care what other people think about the things I like. 

I like documentarys about prominent political figures (highly recommend Ken Burns' The Roosevelts, an Intimate History!), musicals about Founding Fathers, blogs about history jokes, Disney movies, Disney World, the Indiana Jones movies, planning vacations, Star Wars, Nancy Drew books, One Direction (at least while they were around) and HGTV. 

I really don't care if people think that anything on this list should be considered a guilty pleasure. I don't really think anything should be considered a guilty pleasure at all. 

I just don't understand the concept. Why do we think it's okay to tell people they should be embarrassed for liking something? Why are people afraid to tell other people what things they like? 

I will literally talk for hours about how Alexander is a really underrated political figure and how Thomas Jefferson doesn't deserve his bad reputation. I would love to tell you all about my vacation to Disney World. I am always ready to crack a joke about a Greek god. 

I'm not ashamed of any of the things I like. I mean, sure, other people might think I'm socially inept for talking about things I love so openly, but I don't. 

Because sure, I can talk to you about history, movies, or music, but I can also talk to you about conflicts in the Middle East, the ongoing election, or the importance of education in developing nations. 

Any way, my point is that I've heard way too many people say "okay don't make fun of me, but I'm really into [insert 'guilty pleasure' here]," and that's not cool. No one should have to justify things they like. No one should have to feel stupid for liking something with a passion. 

While it is much easier said than done, don't let others' negative perceptions affect the things you like or talk about. 

You don't have to please anyone but yourself, ever. 

A Little Bit of Self Motivation

In high school, I learned that no one else cares if you aren't doing everything you should be.

Your teachers might, your parents proably do, but your peers? Absolutely not. 

This means that you have to motivate yourself.

Have a paper due tomorrow morning but you'd rather binge watch Grey's Anatomy on Netflix?

No one is going to say, "hey, shouldn't you be writing a paper?" because they don't care if you're writing your paper or not.

You have to motivate yourself. You are the only person that always has your best interests in mind at all times. 

You have to take matters into your own hands and think about:

a) what it is you want to do

b) how you're going to do it

c) when you're going to do it

d) who has done it

And then you have to figure out how to motivate yourself. 

For me, it's by drawing inspiration from powerful women and by using quotes. 

In my dorm room, I have a little shrine to motivation, and it's the first thing I see every morning and the first thing I see before I go to sleep. 

The powerful people that are considered inspiring are different for everyone. But for me, Amy Poehler's Leslie Knoppe, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Michelle Obama, Sandra Day O'Connor, Madeleine Albright, Malala Yousazfi, Reese Witherspoon's Elle Woods, and Amal Clooney are among them.

But the quotes I use are applicable to everyone and everything. And since it's difficult to see some of them, I've written them down here so that you can be inspired too!

"If you can dream it, you can do it"

"Even miracles take a little time"

"Esse quam videri; to be rather than to seem"

"Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try'

"You may be pretty and you may be talented, but nobody will remember that if you're mean"

"If you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true"

"It's a new day, bend and snap"

"Be the Leslie Knope of whatever you do"

"Promise me you'll always remember, you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think"

"You must always have faith in people, but most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself"

"I want adventure in the great, wide somewhere"

"This is just part of growing up, a little adventure, a little rebellion"

"Never look back, darling, it distracts from the now"

"If you want something you've never had, you must be willing to do something you've never done"

"Hakuna matata, it means no worries"

"Make life sparkle"

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing"

"You have to be the best version of yourself, and if that means you have to be a bit self promoting, then it's okay, it really is. Because who's going to believe in you more than yourself?"

And most importantly,

"Have courage, and be kind"

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Cut Off All of Your Hair!

I had a weird attachment to my hair.

I was constantly monitoring its length, "Look! It's past my boobs now!" "It's to my elbows!"

I had always had it short when I was younger, but once I hit the eighth grade I let it grow out (with the necessary trims every six weeks). 

But this winter, I cut off eleven inches of hair. Eleven. 

Now for someone who was attatched to her hair (i.e. me), this was a HUGE deal. 

I debated it for weeks. "Long hair is the trend!" "What if I don't fit in?!" "What if it looks awful?"

Somehow, I convinced myself that it was something I should do. So I called up my hair stylist, and asked her to cut it all off (She was shocked. I was the girl who cried when she just got a trim).

And I got so many compliments! I had expected everyone to hate it because they all had long hair. But they couldn't hate it, I was happy and I had a new hairstyle that suited my tastes. 

The bottom line is, if you want to change your look, do it. You don't have to have long hair because everyone else does (although short hair is becoming more popular, and I will pretend like I had something to do with it), but if you want to have long hair, by all means do!

*Note: there are a lot of people who don't have hair. If you cut your hair, I strongly urge you to donate it if you can. Visit Locks of Love for more information*